Coming clean: Fast lane cleansing

starving writerMy ‘cleansing fast’ entailed, among other means of detoxifying body and soul, ten days of no food and twice-daily colonic irrigations. In my own defense, I did this only in the line of duty as a writer. Plus it involved staying in a pleasant seaside resort on Phuket, Thailand.

For a week and a half, voluntarily and allegedly in my right mind, I refrained from inserting as much as a single chewable morsel into my mouth. I was also subjected … Read more

Collin still evolving: Surgical revision rools, OK!

“Does this mean you’re going to live to be 125?” my Sara asks. Her voice remains carefully neutral, non-accusatory.

The good news: All I need to do is drop a few kilos, I’m told, and I’ll have an overall fitness age somewhere in my mid-20s. (“Fitness age,” I have to imagine, refers to something like “health-span,” which is enjoying some currency among transhumanists and their ilk. More on that in a later post.)

The bad news: a) I can’t afford … Read more

Tequila Mockingbird: Magic potion divinely inspired

The secret potion I revealed several months ago has proven a great success, in terms of interested visitors from around the world. And the world should rejoice, for  yet another formula has recently come to me in a vision. Preliminary testing is complete.

Tequila Mockingbird (serves 4-6)

Tequila                                                       500ml

Dried & roasted hot chili peppers       4-5  or to taste

Chaser/antidote

Lime juice                                                   500ml

Sugar                                                         4 tblsps or to taste

Salt                                                             2 tspns to mix in

Coarse salt                                               enough to rime … Read more

Pretty good sandwiches. Questions of relativity and quantum theory

The other day I went to meet the charming Ms. Weow at the new Dean & Deluca coffeeshop, a glitzy branch of the New York deli in what’s to be the ground floor of the Ritz Carleton Residences, still under construction.

On my way over, I phoned her to check that I had the correct location.

“Right at the Chong Nongsri BTS Station,” she said.

“West side or east?”

“Which way are you facing now?” she asked me.

“What do … Read more

Sons of the Undead: Lives of the Pre-dead Zombies


“The best break anybody ever gets is in bein’ alive in the first place. An’ you don’t unnerstan’ what a perfect deal it is until you realizes that you ain’t gone be stuck with it forever, either.”

–Porkypine (in Walt Kelly’s Pogo)

“You have to cut way down on your bread, Mr. Piprell,” said my doctor, a charming and entirely competent Thai woman whom I’ve been consulting for years. “You should also avoid rice, potatoes and pasta.” There was a … Read more