COLLIN PIPRELL Generating realities, exploring them, losing the thread.

28Mar/114

Gallows humor for writers

Posted by Collin Piprell

I see I haven’t posted an item since 17 March. Excuses range from “I’ve been too busy to blog” and “I’m suffering a multi-tasking deficiency” to “I’ve sustained a fit of sanity, wherein I see no percentage in posting elaborate messages into the Void.”

Mostly, though, I've been in thrall to a fiction project, a series of speculative novels. The Muse, revealing herself as a dominatrix this time around, has shacked up with me big time. (I speak only figuratively, of course. Good morning, Sara.)

This project is shaping up to be a real monster—in size and, if I’m not careful, in Frankensteinian ungainliness as well. Unless of course the Grim Reaper intervenes, which—given average lifespans for the modern male and the rate at which I'm proceeding—is a statistical near-certainty.

Working dust-jacket copy:

This book is for real readers—for people with almost pathological cravings for gnarly substance, for readers who take Proust on picnics, who wish that Hegel’s sentences were longer and who are sorry David Foster Wallace’s editors convinced him to reduce the endnotes in Infinite Jest from a few hundred to just one hundred pages (388 extant notes in total, with notes within notes and, in least one case, notes within notes within a note).

If you aren’t this sort of reader, then go f*** yourself. This book isn’t for you.

 

“You can’t say that,” says my Sara.

“You don’t understand modern marketing,” I reply.

8Mar/110

Writerly occupational hazard: New frontiers in creative foreplay

Posted by Collin Piprell

In the old days, writers sharpened pencils, checked the mail, experimented with melismatic renditions of "I'm a Lumberjack, and I'm Okay,"  polished the piano (the rich writers, I mean) and so on. Classic avoidance behavior, right? Anything's better than actually getting down to the hard business of writing.

Maybe not. Or at least maybe not entirely. I’m not the first to suggest that all the screwing around may well be a vital part of the creative process. Having exhausted the possibilities of melodically ornamenting classic songs, you return to your manuscript and, hallelujah, that recalcitrant plot problem is resolved. Like magic, perhaps one of your characters supplies just the snatch of dialogue needed to precipitate the missing dramatic profluence.

Creative foreplay. Simply getting away from the book for a relaxing stroll can be enough to tickle the Muse. Some part of "avoidance behavior," in fact might better be described instead as creative foreplay.

When avoidance behavior isn’t really. Sharpening pencils, listening to music, making a few phone calls, gazing at the nice day outside… You’re really working, eh? It’s like lateral thinking, or deliberately not thinking about a word that’s on the tip of your tongue.

But the art of productive screwing around has become much more difficult, in this modern age. You can sharpen all the pencils in the house, but, once they're sharp, that's an end to the matter. True, you can go on from there to polishing the furniture, but again, that gambit soon plays itself out. In any case, these are essentially restful, mindless activities, conducive to behind-the-scenes rumination and synthesis. In a way, you can do these things and still, on some preconscious level, be productively involved in your book. The difference today is we've got the Internet. Google, Amazon, personal blogs and websites, our friends' blogs and websites, Facebook, Twitter, games, magazines, books, news, commentary, Google Earth... We have the collective memory and, increasingly, the collective mind-in process lurking right behind that page of manuscript—the one that's proving such a bother and, boy, you sure could use a break, eh?

Dopamine addiction. So the first point is this: There's a ton of stuff to do rather than work, and much of it is pretty neat. Unlike with pencils and furniture, you're never going to come to the end of the distractions at hand. Many of them even come loaded with nice little hits of dopamine.

Secondly, for the most part these distractions aren't entirely mindless in the way sharpening pencils can be. They engage you. And they're infested with hyperlinks and whatnot that hijack you, pointing every which way, diffusing your attention and creative energies. Look at this! And this! Whoa, what about that? This effect then becomes multiplied exponentially by the fact you can flip effortlessly between Arts & Letters Daily, Facebook, e-mail, Twitter, a new lecture series, and even notes towards some other novel, one that's easier to write.

Or you can compose another blog item, like this one, the longer the better, because then you might avoid real writing till lunchtime, and then… Well, a man’s got to eat, eh?

Advanced avoidance behavior: Sharpen pencils somewhere new and exciting (and, if you’re really serious about this, beyond the reach of the Internet, should  such a place remain).

Thanks to Doug Savage for permission to use the Savage Chickens cartoon.

21Feb/118

Flu season in Bangkok

Posted by jack_shackaway

Jack here.

The fever’s gone. I’m still sick, though. Never mind I’m sitting here like a fool—more like a two-bit hooker, actually—editing a massive, near-sadistically impenetrable document for money, not enough of it.

But let me tell you about my blissful, antihistamine-enhanced sleep last night. A serial dream—it bridged multiple pee breaks—had me much excited at a book idea. I’d decided the combination of the world’s longest palindrome (several long paragraphs) and a brand-new concept of time I’d come up with would throw light on the whole of existence, proving a ripping good yarn to boot. The excitement had fled by the time I awoke.

Do you think the Muse might be messing with me?

Early response from Bob the Literatus:

Palindromic narratives? "T Eliot, top bard, notes putrid tang emanating, is sad. I'd assign it a name: gnat dirt upset on drab pot toilet." Might one build out from that? It was making the rounds in DC back in the 1960s.

3Feb/112

Writerly occupational hazards: Addictions, spinal deficiencies, and disciplinary infinite regresses

Posted by Collin Piprell


One writer, however much tongue in cheek, has actually expressed admiration for addicts:

I admire addicts. In a world where everybody is waiting for some blind, random disaster, or some sudden disease, the addict has the comfort of knowing what will most likely wait for him down the road. He's taken some control over his ultimate fate, and his addiction keeps the cause of death from being a total surprise.     ~ Chuck Palahniuk

Overall, though, even Palahniuk would probably concede that this advantage—a modicum of autonomy regarding the nature of your eventual passing (a half-assed sort of “suicide,” in plain terms)—is generally outweighed by a range of ill effects.

Traditionally, writers have too often succumbed to the temptations of drink, drugs and complicated women (or men). Among modern writers, however, the Internet threatens to become the biggest killer of creativity and real social lives. (Have a look, e.g., at Edward Tenner’s review in the Wilson Quarterly of recent books arguing two sides of the issue: The Shallows:
What the Internet Is Doing to Our Brains, by Nicholas Carr, and Cognitive Surplus:
Creativity and Generosity in a Connected Age,
by Clay Shirky.)

Online existence becomes ever-more seductive at the same time  concern grows at what harm it might be doing us. What isn’t at issue: In this brave new digital universe we inhabit, we tend to bathe our brains in a heady punch of dopamine (see, e.g., Psychology Today) and dangerous stress-induced chemicals (seen New York Times story). Parked there in front of your computer browsing the Web and answering e-mail, you can launch yourself on a fine gonzo adventure complete with “natural” uppers and downers and hangovers, not to mention disaffected better halves and everything.

My own Internet addiction has maybe left enough of a concentration span to compose haikus:


You have mail

Delivery vehicles,

Every e-mail

A dopamine fix.

Novels, on the other hand, require more attention. Unfortunately, my various projects mean I can't go cold turkey with the Internet, but I do need to find some way of disciplining myself. Something more effective than Sara's Rx.

"Just be more disciplined," she tells me.

Right.

I recently installed a program called Freedom, which is supposed to make discipline unnecessary. And it really works—you tell it how many hours you want to be independent of the Internet, and it forbids you access to all your communication programs for exactly that long. Plead and weep as much as you like; tell Freedom that Hollywood might be trying to e-mail you right now with an offer that expires in 20 minutes. There’s nothing you can do to change its mind. No recourse. Other than to go to your other computer, where you were careful not to install Freedom. Or simply refuse to activate Freedom. You may forget for months at a time, as I have, that you even have this program that set you back $15.

Now Sara tells me, “Just be more disciplined. Force yourself to activate Freedom every morning before you start your day.”

Right. But where do I find a program that activates Freedom automatically?

12Aug/102

No iMac for me, no sirree.

Posted by Collin Piprell

I’m not going to buy the iMac. (See my earlier post 26 July: "Make yourself feel better and save $200,000 to boot".)

I recognize the syndrome. The world is going to hell all around me, and I haven’t won any literary prizes this week. My girl don’t love me and my chickens all ran away, not to mention my cotton won’t grow (© Mad Max iMac McGinty), and I sit here singing the blues and wondering what would make me feel better.

This is what leads grown suburbanite men to buy cabin cruisers and then park them in their driveways as a handy place to sit and drink beer with friends and wear their Tilly hats and talk about fishing. (Far lesser fits of existential angst merely leads Sara to go to a department store and buy a new blouse or skirt. Of course, this is a far lesser pressure on the budget, and a blouse at least keeps the chill off.)

What I’m saying is that the Mac-lust is merely a nearly universal human tendency, first of all, to want to leave some mark on the world—some tangible evidence we exist, a sign that says “I have passed this way.” It’s also a status thing, a bit like wolves pissing on the boundaries of their territory but arguably more polite. Most basically these days, however, it’s a symptom of the consumerist virus that infects the mind with insane urges to buy things that you don’t need. (Here’s an juliet schor interview2 - JCC that explores this syndrome in some detail.)

As the Lord Buddha, for one, clearly saw—this behavior will only leave you unhappy again, once the initial buzz wears off and you hear that some even fancier item is now available, and one of them even now rests with the Jones in the apartment next door. Yeah. Next thing you know there’s a new iMac that’s powerful enough you can use it to fly whole communities, maybe even the entire Tea Party, across vast interstellar distances to other galaxies. And you’ll just have to have this thing, even though all you’ll do with it is string words together and then change them around this way and that till you get tired of it. (That’s if you’re a wordsmith, which I claim to be.)

Just buy it, says Sara. Stop talking about it and buy it. It’ll be good for you.

And this, and that, but there’s no way I’m  going to buy the iMac, no matter how half-price it might be, and no matter how enormous the pile of money I’ll therefore save. Okay? Geez.

26Jul/105

Make yourself feel better & save $200,000 to boot

Posted by Collin Piprell

We’re afflicted, here in Bangkok, by an atmosphere of foreboding. The messy events of April-May might appear to be behind us. But this surface calm, in some ways, resembles a moonlit pool on a still night. You'd never suspect this pool is full of big sharks just waiting to erupt in a frenzy. All they need is for someone to toss them a nice chunk of something bloody. Yesterday's bomb was the mere slice of a dorsal fin, a wee tear in our tranquility. A harbinger, we hope not.

It’s hard to find even glimmers of optimism, no matter who you talk to. Same thing goes for the world economic situation, we've got these streets full of morose bears  carrying end-of-the-world placards. America's got huge problems, Europe too, and China's a disaster just waiting to happen, so where's your money going to run to? You hear talk of second jobs, retirement plans back on the shelf, no Lamborghini this year, never mind the BMW's all dusty. Nothing but hard times.

Anyway, Sara says just relax, okay? Things are what they are, and the future will bring some similar kettle of fish no matter how much I fret. So why fret? As usual, of course, she's right. She doesn't even charge me for all the advice. Only smiles, shakes her head, and wonders why I never take it.

The world's going to hell in a handbasket. So I ask myself, if I switch from PC to Mac, will everything be okay nevertheless?

My friend Bill, a mathemathically adept computer whiz and digital missionary, tells me that my whole life will change as soon as I move to Mac. “Nobody who has changed from a PC to a Mac has ever gone back again.” This wisdom has already enjoyed a long life on the street , and it's only part of his pitch.

Yeah, and not only that: he has a good friend who will sell me an iMac that's pretty well new—still under warranty. This item is so slick that Steve Jobs reportedly wants it back, not to mention NASA agents have been sniffing around making Bill's friend nervous, probably figuring this machine will help them put a man on Pluto. But he doesn't care if anybody ever puts a man on Pluto or not, and he'll let me have it instead. For about half price, he'll do this thing.

So I'd have to be crazy not to buy it, right? Think of all the money I'll save. What a deal, etc. Sara sees some wisdom in this, but she's a Thai woman, and a shopper. Plus she loves to see me screw up.

A new Lamborghini can cost $450,000. If somebody sold me a nearly new Roadster for half price, I'd save $200,000. Which is quite a lot of money. On the other hand, I'd need to come up with the other half, which would mean cutting back some on my Camembert and premium sencha tea. And all I need this Lamborghini for is driving to the corner store, which some people would claim is a waste of a good Lamborghini.

So what to do, eh?

But Bill looks at me, radiating the kind of certainty only competent mathematicians ever really muster, and he says, “Trust me. It’ll change your life.”

And something tells me he’s right.

Illustrations:

Thanks to pool shooter Michael McCafferty for the moonlit pool. h