Get rich quick: Plan A

Jack Shackaway here. I’m worried about Collin. Take a look at this e-mail:

Yo, Jack.

One of the UK publishers I most respect has just declined my 180,000-word science fiction novel, saying how much they like the writing and world-building, and how they understand and admire the structure, but for some indefinable reason they haven’t “fallen in love” with it. So we turn to other ways of generating an income from writing.

I’m thinking I’ll run this classified ad in Mind, the Oxford Mail and various other likely publications:


Attention professional philosophers and scientists! Author stumbles upon the secret of consciousness and the structure of the universe while writing a science-fiction trilogy. Said author is your standard starving writer, and secrets of life, the universe and everything are notoriously uncommercial. Thus he is willing to entertain contractual arrangements whereby a deserving and nicely cashed-up philosopher or scientist gets famous, while this deserving but currently destitute writer gets rich. Contact, in the first instance,

And here I was, all worried about starving to death. Just goes to show you.



P.S.: I’m also selling shares in the movie versions. Get yours while they’re going cheap.

Not only is Collin trying to flog the first two finished sci-fi novels in a series, he’s working on another, not part of that series. All of them long, all of them “crossover,” inasmuch as they add literary pretension to an already savory stew of science, metaphysics, humor, sex and violence.

Still, his postscript has me thinking. I don’t suppose any of you people out there want to buy 2% of Free Lunch now? That’s 2% of any returns, from movie sales to book royalties. I still have some way to go before I actually finish this book, so I can give you a very good deal if you hurry. Contact, in the first instance,

kickstarter2What’s that you say? Kickstarter? Whoa. I’m too young to be so far behind the times. Really–I can use crowd-sourcing to fund my novel?



Kickstarter image from Wired magazine.