Herbal Happiness (Pharmaceutical Virtues)

Greetings. I’ve been away for a while, distracted by travel, a restive Muse, this and that.

Writers are notoriously perceptive, and so it is that, during my travels, I saw that drugstores were not the same drugstores I used to go to and say gimme some aspirin, or “I’d like a packet of those things, you know … Yeah. No, no! You don’t have to wave them around, for chrissake.” Like much else in our world, things have changed since … Read more

Mysterious Bangkok deaths solved?

Bangkokians fall to their deaths from high-rise apartments with some regularity. These incidents are often ascribed to suicidal impulses, the next most popular hypothesis being accident, as in, “Wow! Look at that moon—it’s almost like you could reach out and touch…”

But read on, because I have a new, improved theory. Recently, in fact, I myself almost fell victim to an especially devious homicide attempt.

A couple of myna birds have taken to nesting in a cozy niche outside my … Read more

Our friend the hookworm


Bill the Mathematician—yes, that’s Bill of the unaccountably broken back—is not always fully recognized as the trendsetter he really is. Right now he’s in Phnom Penh, on his way to the Pasteur Institute to ask for a dose of hookworm larvae. “I thought I’d found a source yesterday,” he tells me, “as PP now has a National Parasitological Center. But somehow they can’t help because ‘it’s time for exams.’ But they did suggest I try L’Institut Pasteur, so I’ll … Read more

Home-grown back therapies rool!

Caption: Our adventurer, with his new office chair, just after summiting the roof of his apartment building five times in a row without oxygen.

Breaking news on the old-crockish falling-apart front: I’ve just cured a rogue back, gone bad in the prime o’ me loif and all, by giving my office chair to the guard downstairs in favor of sitting on an exercise ball at my desktop computer, alternating this with standing at my filing cabinet with a laptop on … Read more

Better than ever: Surgical revision rools

1 April 2011. I’m trying to beat a self-imposed but important deadline with The Proteant Enigmass. A few people have said they’d like to see the working ms., but I’m waiting till I get to a certain point in the story so they can get a better sense of what I’m trying to do. And I’d really, really like to do that before Tuesday’s operation. (As it stands, no one has seen any part of this thing, and I need … Read more

Collin still evolving: Surgical revision rools, OK!

“Does this mean you’re going to live to be 125?” my Sara asks. Her voice remains carefully neutral, non-accusatory.

The good news: All I need to do is drop a few kilos, I’m told, and I’ll have an overall fitness age somewhere in my mid-20s with personal training in Los Angeles. (“Fitness age,” I have to imagine, refers to something like “health-span,” which is enjoying some currency among transhumanists and their ilk. More on that in a later post.)… Read more

Hot times in Thailand

This morning I had an interesting experience, one that I will now relate, sparing you any need to conduct your own field research.

In short, don’t put namman muay (“Boxing Liniment”) in your eye.

I awoke with a sore shoulder and, in jockish high spirits, I splashed some of this fiery oil onto the offending muscles with such enthusiasm that quite a lot of it went instead into my eye. Both hands being already contaminated, I couldn’t rinse the eyeball

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Life is terrifying

How’s the new year going for you guys? I had a piece of exercise equipment, in a somewhat inauspicious vein, try to crush my skull about 7am on the morning of January the first. Ever since, I’ve been reflecting on the fact that, just when you least expect it, irony can leap out and mash you. I hope, despite appearances, that incident wasn’t a harbinger of things to come in 2011.

Given the fact I was almost bitten to death … Read more

Who mocks T. Mockingbird

In my last post, I discussed the mindful appreciation of a novel tequila experience, one that might even be good for you. Who knows? Our test subjects felt better after taking it, at least, and they were all still alive the next morning.

My earlier “Magic potion revealed!” had for months been a leading magnet for visitors to this site; “T. Mockingbird” promises to be an even bigger draw, which leads one to wonder whether the therapeutic … Read more

Tequila Mockingbird: Magic potion divinely inspired

The secret potion I revealed several months ago has proven a great success, in terms of interested visitors from around the world. And the world should rejoice, for  yet another formula has recently come to me in a vision. Preliminary testing is complete.

Tequila Mockingbird (serves 4-6)

Tequila                                                       500ml

Dried & roasted hot chili peppers       4-5  or to taste

Chaser/antidote

Lime juice                                                   500ml

Sugar                                                         4 tblsps or to taste

Salt                                                             2 tspns to mix in

Coarse salt                                               enough to rime … Read more